My daughter plays Lady GaGa’s new song and even put some of the lyrics on her Facebook. (We are FB friends, so I wasn’t snooping!) I don’t want her listening to her music. Should I ban her CD from my house?
Dear Gagging on GaGa,
I hear your concern about the content of lyrics affecting our teen girls. It’s bothersome to see so may teen girls using graphic lyrics as their status on FB. My hunch is they aren’t really advertising themselves as sex-toys, but rather trying to show that they are cool. That’s what the teen years are all about. Figuring out how to fit in, be hip, and get noticed. A shocking lyric from Lady GaGa can do all of the above. Unfortunately, it can also make girls look like an ad on Craigslist for a casual hook-up.
I’d ask your daughter what she thought of the lyrics and what her posting them reflects on her. Have a conversation, not a lecture series. Ask questions that aren’t emotionally laden with anger or negative judgement because your daughter will hear it in your voice and won’t tell you squat.
Refuse to allow GaGa’s music in the house? I’d back away from censorship. It just creates forbidden fruit which tastes really, really good. Besides, how can you stop Limewire, YouTube, ITunes etc., from coming into your house? Your daughter is going to hear GaGa’s music (and worse!) so it’s better to keep the conversation going about the meaning of lyrics and how they might be shaping her beliefs or behavior.
Some girls are gaga over Lady GaGa. Your job is to ask good questions to understand why your daughter likes her and why she thinks the sexual lyrics of her new song make a good FB status. Bottom line, it’s important to find out who your daughter is! Censoring her music doesn’t help you discover anything about her. It just widens any gap you have in your relationship with her.
Some studies show that girls who listen to sexually explicit lyrics start having sex at a young age. Other studies show that a close relationship with mom can help a girl put off starting sex too young. I’d go with creating the relationship because there is NO WAY you can put ear muffs on your daughter and keep her from hearing what’s being played out there today!
For all you teen girls creeping around in Advice to Moms, the Google search for Lady GaGa begins in 3, 2, 1…now I bet. Writing about current events is tricky. I don’t want to point you to stuff, but there’s no way to hold a conversation about what’s out there without, well, talking about it. So let’s talk. Why do you like GaGa’s newest song? What’s the attraction to being known as just a disco stick rider? Fill me in, as I am truly curious.